REAL TEARS
Everything is already so heavy these days…. but this morning ….scrolling instagram just brought me to tears…. I literally can’t believe it. I feel lost… numb… powerless…. and baited. Everything on my timeline is reminding me of something to be sad about…. it’s adding to the feeling of being powerless. It’s why I haven’t posted or said shit really… cuz what can anything I say do about this fuckery that is taking place right now…. fuckery that I feel like is by design…. like the plan… all of this bullshit is literally like a playbook they have and the shit is actually working.
I can’t believe it… I feel like I’m in the fucking twilight zone …. or a really bad season of black mirror. I can not believe this is real life. From fucking “Corna virus” … to lockdowns… ruining businesses and the economy…. making everything weaker… stressing everybody out…. killing folks in hospitals and blaming it on corona, got everybody “staying inside” voluntarily…. gotta assimilate and wear fucking mask to get service or enter any stores or just to be fucking outside… racism at a regular time high cuz the shit is always at an ALL time high …. I think I the blatant cop killing tragedy had to happen for the riots to happen…. just look at how everything is happening…. play by play…. now they’re sending out tanks and the military… everybody screaming martial law next…… but really … wtf is next??? Martial law then what…. then what after that… wtf is happening to our world??… Is all of this about an election?? Will white people ever dismantle the systems of oppression they have so meticulously set in place everywhere and in everything across the entire fuckingggg globe?!?!? Will the colonizers of the world ever be overthrown by the people they have raped and pillaged for centuries? Will racism ever end??? Will Black people ever truly be free?? And if so what does that look like??? Where do we go?? How can we be free in America??? Even when we try to build our own .they destroy it ( Tusla) ….every time we try to come together in a powerful way they divide and dismantle (BPP)…Just because they let a few niggas make some money and sit at the kids table in the same room as the rich white man table don’t mean shit for the rest of us!!! I just wanna know what we are supposed to be doing that will get us out of this bullshit and when can we start?
Like what is happening y’all…. like really …. let’s slow down …. let’s be still …. let’s try to think ahead so we can somehow strategize?!??? Or prepare?!?? Hell idkkkkkk I don’t have none of the answers guys…. I’m soooo hurt…. I’ve never felt so small in my life…. I’ve always considered myself to be a sleeping giant …. but this shit got me feeling like an ant next to evil forces high as a redwood tree.
What am I supposed to be doing with my voice and creativity at this point ( which are the things that used to make me feel like I could change the world …. through ideas…. through music… through the influence of creating a communal culture…through platforms that highlighted beautiful souls with soooo many different types of inspiring gifts. I have always known that inspiration was contagious…& if I could just create platforms that I could share with the world all the people and things that inspired me and blessed me in some way…. if I could just create a safe space where people could just BE…. exactly who they are and express themselves without any of that industry bullshit interfering , that we could all collectively heal people and each other …. and I swear to you that manifested beautifully…… but for some reason now during this time I’m really thinking to myself wtffffff?!??? I want to create some inspiring content, but then it’s like whatever beautiful tribute we do will still remind us of the tragedies we are enduring every day…. we’re still sharing them on these platforms we don’t own that really don’t give af about us and are playing into this “playbook” just like they were designed to do. Like it’s soooo discouraging to have to constantly be battling thoughts like that when trying to figure out what you can do to evoke change. I keep reminding myself that the light can overtake the darkness… even just the tiniest speck can break through …….
So this is a challenge to all the light bearers out there .. I’ve been asking myself what can I do within my power to help somehow? Hell what can you do? What can we do? What should we do? Who got the answers …. solutions??? If anybody even has hope right now share it… tell us whyyy… spread that high vibration because we alllllll need it. Outside out what we share on social media to bring awareness, protesting, and talking to our non black friends about what is happening and their role in helping us if they are allies…. what can we do?? Lets exchange ideas and spark a revolution!!!
– Melanesia @Hippiechiklifestyle